12.09.16
Baloo’s 11-30-16 Goodbye
It’s time for me to write about our goodbye to Baloo, which is both cathartic, and sad, but as with my other posts, I do with the goal of helping anyone out there facing an amputation for a pet with any fear. Amputation and chemo therapy saved Baloo’s life.
Osteo in the Shoulder Area
I had a blog post saved celebrating Baloo’s one year ampuversary at the end of October, but never finished it, because following that milestone, it became increasingly apparent that time was growing very short with our boy those first few weeks in November.
Happy Ampuversary Baloo! 10/29/30
His legs grew wobbly, and though he still had more than enough energy to make it into the kitchen to beg, it became routine for me to carry him outside and to wherever we were in the house. His tails wags were still enthusiastic, but his energy waned. Even in that state, he still managed to squeak his toy every now and then, showing us he was still all lab.
Still squeaking! November 2016
The signs were subtle, but added up. With my Dad and brother coming into town for Thanksgiving, I know we were waiting for those few last days so that they could say goodbye too.
Almost twelve years ago around 11/18/04 or so, my mom, dad and I picked up a 9 week old chubby puppy from the cold mountain foothills of Mount Shasta, and drove him home before Thanksgiving. He slept on my lap the entire way.
Still a Lap Dog in 2005
And like that first Thanksgiving in 2004, and past years, this last Thanksgiving, Baloo had us all surrounding him as well.
Thanksgiving 2015
We all agreed that it was time to say goodbye, and though it would have been nice to do that as a family while everyone was in town, we had other guests visiting for the holiday, and didn’t feel that entertaining and mourning were a good combination. So mom and I planned to say goodbye after our guests had left, even though my Dad wouldn’t be able to be there. Dad never did well on those tough vet trips, so it may have been a blessing.
Maverick Knew Goodbyes were due
A lovely vet who had known Baloo through his year of chemo was available to be with him, but we were worried he’d perk on the way to the vet as he always did, making us question the timing. Baloo was not yet suffering, but we felt like his decline was beginning to become rapid. Our other dogs had greeted the vets happily despite it being very much their time, and it broke our hearts.
But just two days later, there was a drop of blood in the water I was giving him, erasing any doubt. My brother drove back down from LA to be there with him, and thankfully was able to carry him to the car.
Instead of enjoying the car ride as we’d thought, he laid his head in my lap staring into my eyes, never once registering interest in the ride. Just like his first ride home, he made his last ride; in my lap. He’d done that quite a bit the last few weeks, and I was glad to comfort him.
Together Always – November 2016
He was calm at the vet. She said that it was not the same dog she’d known all year, and not the same dog she’d seen even just a few weeks ago, but agreed he wasn’t suffering. She believed that the small lesions I noted in his mouth were possibly a presentation of cancer as well, and agreed it was time for the gift of euthanasia, 13 months after beginning his fight with cancer.
I’d said my goodbyes dozens of times since he was diagnosed. I told him every day that I loved him, would miss him, and that he was my world. And then I told him for the last time.
It’s been just over a week, and we’re not doing much better. My mom is devastated, and I am working hard to keep from cracking, because I am not sure I’d be able to rebuild if I came apart. But I know time will help, and have been lucky to have supportive friends. The coworkers who supported me during Baloo’s surgery sent this frame, which arrived yesterday. It is a lucky thing in life to have people who understand the importance of animals.
Framed with Love
Osteoscarcoma has stolen two of my best friends. In 2003 my 8 year old black lab Gus was taken quickly following his osteoscarcoma diagnosis because our vet was not a proponent of amputation. He was in great pain in his final days, and we were helpless to help him.
Gus – 1998
Then in 2004 we brought home a happy bear of a puppy, and named him Baloo. 11 years later, he too was diagnosed with osteoscarcoma. This time we were able to give him a JOYOUS year following amputation, and though he eventually succumbed to cancer, he did not suffer in the end. Life on three legs IS good. It’s nothing to fear. People are the ones who feel sad for a dog without a leg, but Baloo proved that life lived on three legs rocks. And as his guardian, I am thankful that for 13 glorious extra months, I had this light in my life.
I’ve loved, and lost, many special animals in my life. It is always too soon.
My Pack – Baloo, Maverick and Spirit Truman in 2011
Happiest Times – Spirit Gato, Maverick, Spirit Baloo and Spirit Truman sunbathing
My wish with this blog was to encourage others facing the difficult path ahead with amputation. If your dog NEEDS surgery, don’t be afraid. Be happy! There is a way you can help your dog feel better, and for that, feel good! You are not helpless! Your dog reads your energy, so find a way to see amputation for what it is – a gift.
What a wonderful bonus year life as a tripawd was. A year of things like these below. Are any of these things not what quad dog does?
Mountain Hikes
Walks
Strolls
Chews
Car Rides
Kisses
Friends
Squeaking
Sunsets
Birthday
CIty Views
Bedtime Snuggles
Naps
Trips
Park Walks
It was a great year.
In fact, that bonus Tripawd year looks EXACTLY like a normal year to me.
Tripawd Fetching the Paper
Quad Fetching the Paper
Tripawd Swimming with a Stick
Quad Swimming with a Stick
Tripawd Running
Quad Running
Tripawd at Del Mar Dog Beach
Quad at Del Mar Dog Beach
Tripawd Water Dog
Quad Water Dog
So which is he in the photos below? Quad or Tripawd?
Not knowing is the entire point!
(Both Tripawd, by the way)
So if you’re wondering whether your dog will live a normal, happy life after amputation, the answer is, that is up to you as much as it is up to them. If you are happy, they will be too. Enjoy them. Find the joy in the time you’re given, and they will too. However much they can do is exactly enough. Live in the moment, because the moment will be over far too soon. Be thankful for it.
In the aftermath of our goodbye, the one comfort to us all is how thankful we all are for this year, and the ability to help him in a way that we couldn’t for Gus through amputation and chemotherapy. We would do everything we did exactly the same way, every single step of the way.
Thank you Tripawd community, for your support this year! It’s been a comfort.
All our best to you, your tripawds, and your spirit animals,
Erin and Spirit Baloo
December 9, 2016 at 8:51 pm
I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Baloo, but how wonderful that you got to celebrate that year together. And for us too, the time after amputation was really wonderful time – it looked a lot like the really wonderful time before Otis’ diagnosis. I am so glad that you are able to celebrate Baloo’s life, including his time as a Tripawd with joy.
December 9, 2016 at 9:24 pm
Erin, we are truly heartbroken to hear about Baloo. Our hearts are heavy, Tripawds has lost a great warrior.
We followed your journey and were always in awe over the bond you shared with this very special, once-in-a-lifetime doggy. Even before his life on three legs, Baloo always seemed like such a role model for joy, love and hope. The bond you shared has been clear from the start, and no dog could ever ask for more.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being a part of this community, sharing your journey so vividly and for caring enough about others to offer so many helpful details about Baloo’s life. Please know his life story will always be here to inspire anyone finding themselves in the middle of this journey. And I hope with all I’ve got that you never, ever have to go through it again.
We are so sorry. xoxo
December 9, 2016 at 11:45 pm
Oh Baloo! What a wonderful life you lived! Full of great love and adventure. Erin I am so so sorry. I have followed you and Baloo your entire journey. Your own words
“Live in the moment because the moment will be over far too soon” really strike a chord with me. I think you and Baloo lived that way his entire life. You never missed a chance to show that beautiful boy how very much he was loved. Fly free Angel Baloo! You were a mighty Warrior and you have so earned those Angel wings that let you now fly free. Sending your pack much love and healing light at this hardest of times.
Linda & Spirit Mighty Max
December 10, 2016 at 3:20 am
It looks like Baloo had the perfect life, before and after surgery! He was truly loved. I agree with you, it’s always too soon.
Hugs to you,
Donna & Murphy
December 10, 2016 at 3:59 am
Erin,
I am so sorry for the loss of Baloo. I followed his story even though I didn’t comment much. He had a wonderful life and he knows you love him.
Now starts the hardest part of the journey without your boy. He will be watching over you. Watch for his signs he will be near.
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
December 10, 2016 at 4:11 am
Erin I’m so sorry to hear of Baloo’s passing. What a wonderful blog though. You really touched on every area! I literally cried the whole way through as I thought of my own sweet lab & all the love and joy she’s brought us & what a hard decision we all might have to make one day to say goodbye. It’s clear he was so loved & had the best life a human could offer. You’ve really honoured him here. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. I hope u posted Baloos story to Facebook so it goes viral & educates people that life on 3 legs can be a great life. People just don’t realize! Hugs to u & take care
Chris & Kylie xo
December 10, 2016 at 8:07 am
I am so sorry for the loss of beloved Baloo. What a fantastic life you gave him, right at the heart of your family.
Sending love and hugs to you all. Run free, Baloo!
Meg, Clare and Elsie Pie xxx
December 11, 2016 at 11:38 pm
Sweet dreams, dear Baloo, you happy, inspirational warrior. So sorry that your family is missing you so, but so happy you had a great run after amputation and such a wonderful life as a loved family member.
Lisa and Angel Pofi
December 12, 2016 at 9:18 am
Sweet dreams Baloo, you were just wonderful for your mom Erin – just look at how much love there is there! A pure trooper of the Tripawd squad, leaving a fantastic, positive story for those who will follow.
I’m so sorry for your loss Erin
Karis and Zuki with Wings xx
December 12, 2016 at 8:59 pm
Oh my,
So much loss in the past month. I am so sorry … Baloo is beautiful inside and out; it shows in his eyes. Thank you for your courage to encourage others in your time of grief. Deb and Angel Bandit
December 15, 2016 at 6:54 pm
It took me awhile to come back as I wanted to be able to write without tears, but not sure that’s possible!!
But I did want to be able to come back and write in a celebratory state, because there was sooooo much to celebrate about Baloo’s life!!
First of all, make no mistake abput it, Baloo’s blog and the way you chronicled his journey will indeed inspire others on this journey! He TRULY is a Beacon of Hope and shows everyone how great life on three legs can be!!
I loooooove the pictorial tribute you did for Baloo! And the way you showed the comparisons of Baloo enjoying life on three legs just as much as on four!!
BTW, you and Maverick have some very special Spirit Angels watching over you I Truman, Galo, and now Baloo. I know Truman and Galo were there ro greet Baloo as he headed ro the Bridge happy and free!
Every single picture shows how loved, how absolutely adored, Baloo is!!
Do EXCEED O E HEAR….TO JAVE A HAPPY THIRTEEN MONTH AMPUVERSARY is pretty darn special around here!! And you gzve Baloo the gict of release at exactly, EXACTW the right time. With the “symptoms, even though it hadn’t hit “crisis” point yet, a quick and imminent decline was clearly on the way. Yes, you have been with him every step of the way and Baloo knew you would be with him as he transitioned. That boy knew how loved he was!!
We all knew how loved Baloo was! It came shining through with every word and, goodness knows, with every picture and every action!!
Erin, I know your heart is still broken and your grief continues to hit you out of the blue like a suffocw wave. The void hurts and the break in routine leaves you walking aimlessly in circles.
I also know that Baloo wants you to focus on the thousands and thousands of happy and joyful memories you and Baloo shared! And you can bet that when Baloo got to the Bridge, he was telling everyone there he had THE BEST TIME EVER with you as his human!!
I keep scrolling back up to look at the spectacular pictures to make sure I stay in a joyful state because that is what Baloo wants! The nappy time yawn..the smiles as he gets hugs from you…the squeaky toy joy…the water dog carrying sticks…yeah, these treasured photos are furever a reminder of a life well lived and well loved!
It is a TRUE PRIVILEGE AND HONOR to be able to call myself a friend of Baloo’s!! Thank you soooo much for sharing him with us and for the beautiful life affirming way you have paid tribute to him. Baloo will NEVER be forgotten! Baloo will cow to touch lives with his inspirational story.
I look forward to more pictures and snippets into Baloo’s wonderful life AND all of the ways he sends you “signs” that he is still right by your side!
Sending lots and lots of love and surrounding you with Baloo kisses
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!